J&W

One for the tubbie...

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the
pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows
it whole.

The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your
monkey just did?"

"No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" says the patron.

"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says
the bartender.

"Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts" says
the patron.

The guy finishes his drink and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is
drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs
one, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"What now?" responds the patron.

"Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt,
then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.

"Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that
darn cue ball he measures everything first